ok i thought id share how i got this to work,
the mod you want to use resources from MUST be loaded before your mod in the mod load order.
create the folder structure of the mod you want to use resources from in the editor making sure you name it the same as the mod you want to use resources from.
Mod folder in steam - to find the proper names you subscribe to the mod then check your mod folder for the name structure, you can find the mods main name from the admin spawn commands for the mod
EG -spawn command - cheat giveitem “Blueprint’/Game/Mods/SteamPunk2/Adv_SteamPress/Forge/Resources/PrimalItemResource_CopperOre.PrimalItemResource_CopperOre” 1 0 false
you need to create the same mod folder in editor
(make sure you use actual resource blueprints for resources, item blueprints for items)
in your mod you can now reference the dummy files you have created
cook your mod and upload it
start your server making sure your mod loads AFTER the mod with the resources you want to use
thats it! test your mod can actually use the items from the other mod and your good to go
NOTE: not sure why but i had to try this several times before i could get it work, it seems very buggy