Let me tell you a story (style intended):
Comrade Ivan not drink vodka and save money all year. Ivan buy microwave on black market for his mother birthday. His mother cry because she think Ivan is capitalist traitor and microwave is experimental capitalist spy machine. She call KGB and say “Ivan sell his motherland”. KGB execute Ivan for conspiracy to microwave Lenin and send his mother to labor camp for raising a bad communist. Microwave is back to black market. Such is life in mother Russia.
Seriously though: Good job so far, but remove the microwave and put a crappy calendar on the wall:)