Hi there!
Did you perhaps find any solution? I am experiencing the exact same issue. Even on a brand new 4090 it seems even worst 
lol. It’s nice to know you tried all the other steps so I don’t need to 
Out of interest, I read that perhaps disabling simulation on the hair (and the individual hair components) helps crashing. I’ll test it out a bit more myself, that might not be a solution but perhaps something to look into.
Thank you