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Lost In Paranoia


Something I made a while ago. It was heavily influenced by shifts between real life and artistic reality, vibes of certain environments, abandoned places, ghosts, hallucinations, ouija board and a bit of magic. It was a weird place, but the art made there is just one of a kind. It’s all about walking around, being desperate, smoking cigarettes and taking photos.

It was made for film school project, but in the process I got lost trying to find ideas while also fighting with the emotional aspect of it all.
Might continue with this project or try to mix it with horror game that I’m working on.

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Hey @iamthebanana,

Happy Holidays!

As per usual, your art has made me self-reflect and the slightest bit uneasy (in a good way?).
After watching your first video I’d love to know your definition of beauty. And, of course, what about darkness can be defined as beauty?

I’ve always been someone who surrounds myself with an overabudance of light and what I would define as a manifestation of joy so your video has me willing to rethink how I precieve darkness.

Look forward to hearing your thoughts friend!

It’s romanticization of sadness and melancholy in a way that you make it look classy and kind of jazzy. It’s that film noir feeling, that sentimental feeling.
Life goes on, people live and do their own things, but you’re in this artistic world and mindset. It’s a different reality detached from ordinary life.
Idea of it is that when you get these feelings that are determined as depression you still have to find the beauty of it all. Kind of like looking for the light in darkness.
You see these pictures, you take these photos. You try to turn them around so that they make you feel something.
I mean art is all about feelings, as long as you feel something by looking at it then you know that you are alive.
Sure, it’s better to smile and be happy. But if you can’t face the darkness and sadness then you’re in for a bad trip.
Make the most out of it even if it hurts.

Happy Holidays! :upside_down_face:

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@iamthebanana, your mind is limitless!

Therefore, to the outside world, you can convey a “Matrix-esque” depiction of darkness. Your visual telling of finding peace in the dark brings me comfort in the light. I’m reminded of a quote from Edgar Allan Poe, “Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”

As I am a fan of Requiem from the Darkness, Death Note, Hellsing, and Perfect Blue, as such with these examples, with your work, I hear melody in the melancholy. I feel embraced by the thunderstorm, and I am guided by the shadows. Your potential is profound.

Have you ever considered your artistry cathartic?

It’s like therapy which destroys you and heals you. There is no escape, you are stuck inside your own nightmare. You love it, you hate it, you are looking for help but once you realise that only you can help yourself - you’re free. Free from the world, free from artistic boundaries, free from emotions of good and bad. You just create art in pure form. It takes time, it takes lots of desperate hours and isolation. And most of all it takes your sanity which along the way you learn how to control. How to push it to the limits, how to heal it. How to go beyond just for the sake of it.
It’s a fun ride, most people won’t get it but they sure do appreciate art. It’s hard to explain it and at times it just shouldn’t be explained. Just enjoy it.





A bit of preview from the scene that I’m working on. It takes place in foggy woods, with a church and lake in middle of it. As you walk around you see lots of strange things, mostly creepy. It has very strong atmosphere - dark, but comforting.
It’s part of The Blur game/movie that I’m working on. But it fits Lost In Paranoia just as well. I guess you could call it The Blur: Lost In Paranoia. Which would make this game a series type of in the future.