Actually, I have a stupid way to solve this problem: there’s a blueprint node for “Execute Console Command” so I used it to execute “DebugRemovePlayer 1”. This removes the player exactly how it should. Using string concatenation and a for loop I’d imagine anyone who needs to remove x many local players from their game will be able to do so, but I can’t imagine this is good practice.
Since people who work on the engine read these sometimes, why have a “Create Player” blueprint node if you’re not going to have a corresponding “Remove Player” one? It seems awfully inconvenient.