hi guys i have been struggling for a while setting up and succesfully connecting to a dedicated server. it took me a long time to get a good fast workflow that actually worked.
i have completly rewritten the wiki guide on the unreal wiki with full instructions for anyone interested in how to do it and when i get time will make a follow up video tutorial as well.
https://wiki.unrealengine.com/Dedicated_Server_Guide_(Windows_%26_Linux)
thanks enigma