[Blank]'s game dev progress blog

I don’t have a reason to use Unreal Engine, nor do I find game development fun anymore because of school, but I love making progress forums, so here is my forum to share my progress with consideration of a potential future where I am inspired to make video games again.

My current skill level with game dev is that of a student who is currently doing their major project in unreal engine with a team of 2 artists and programmers.

To elaborate on why specifically I lost the desire to make video games and am currently waiting out graduation, is because the work culture in school has been trying to brainwash me into ACCEPTING the corporate-slave mentality.

Most of the people here are depressed, anxious, and stupid, and I myself was brainwashed for a time due to just how much of my first year teacher’s ideology was manipulatively trying to changing my ego.

Thankfully though, thanks to my awareness of the matter, I managed to ‘unbrainwash’ myself by eliminating the ego completely, thanks to constant spiritual seeking.

I currently want to make manga, but if the time ever comes where I want to make games again like my other heroes, Yoko Taro and Hideo Kojima, then this topic/thread exists for my future self to add to.

Since I’m more of an artist than a serious business man, I think I’ll like to make a cool passion project, I just don’t know what sort of thing I could use as inspiration.

I’m a storyteller at heart, so I think I’ll like to make something that tackles spirituality as a genre for the game.

Narrative games… My favorite narrative games are things like NieR Automata and Final Fantasy 7 Remake.
I wonder how I’ll get voice actors to contribute to my game?
I’ll probably need money.
However, before I worry about such things, what I can do in the meantime can be things like storyboarding, writing a GDD, and making the game’s core mechanics.

In order to be capable of being inspired again, in general, I have to increase my sensitivity through immersive experiences, whether fictitious or imaginary.
What sort of experiences do I need?
Well, the sort that is highly emotional, which for me when it comes to gaming, typically has to do with my care for characters or otherworldliness that is radiated by something beautiful and explorable.
If it’s beautiful, I will care for it, and if it’s explorable, that means that I know nothing about it - making it otherworldly.

I care specifically about characters like Ai Hoshino, or Makima when in holiday mode.
As for beauty and otherworldliness from an architectural and world building standpoint, you can never go wrong with religious or yogic/spiritual lore and science.

Hmmm… It looks like what I want in a game is something that can get me to actually care about it, deem it as significant and personal, rather than just some knowledge added to the list of facts that I subconsciously store as I mindlessly do things.

If I want to design a game with a personal relationship in mind, then I’ll have to come up with a very unifying gameplay experience between the player and the game’s world.
The world however has to create a sense of alienation between the player and the things that happen TO them, for without that submission, a relationship cannot be possible.

Then when it comes to the idea of making the player themselves Devine in some sort of respect, giving them a feeling of gratitude and feeling as though the world revolves around them without any need for ego so as to make it remain pure, then the player must make the game see the player as otherworldly, as to keep the relationship mutual.

What does it mean for a game to put its player on a pedestal, objectively speaking?

Well, it can be summed up as The Chosen One trope, but it must be done in a way that prevents ego from getting in the way, and has the player caring more about the game than themselves, for they are fully immersed with that particular, grounded, view of existence.

What would happen to a player who plays a game with that degree of immersion?
Worst case scenario
Well, first we need to define what’s good and bad.

Objectively, good must be perceived from the perspective of objective morals and ethics, which are determined by a transcendent intuition that children have, prior to being corrupted by any sort of educations or ego-makers.

So, by this definition, the BEST thing for a player is to offer an experience that makes them genuinely care about as much things as possible in general, not just rely on the game for a sense of what it means to be truly alive.
After all, if all they can do to make themselves feel alive is to play this game till the ends of their days, then clearly is a failure of a product, for it doesn’t actually help them become better human beings, and instead creates the most dangerous and self destructive form of addition; desperation.

I don’t want this, nor do I care for the inability to care, so I want to create a game where I myself can hold onto my love for the game outside of the game itself, as a stepping stone of sorts to be able to then fall in love with other things, still holding respect for what once was (the game), but being far more grateful for what is (New life experiences).

With this design consideration in mind, the most enjoyable gameplay that works best with a life changing and purpose giving storyline, is…

JRPG + Souls-like mechanics.

JRPG is fast paced, which helps with engagement and fun.
Souls-like isn’t fun, but it is enjoyable - Best used to customize the pacing of the gameplay to fit the storyline, while also creating a sense of triumph from effort of the player, for their decisions must be performed with active engagement in order to allow for a sense of yearning to take affect in a hopeful way.

In order to have both work together, the JRPG mechanics will be the fighting style, where as the souls-like will be the difficulty and progression style.

What sort of setting should the game be in?
Well, I’ll figure it out through the enemy types and character themes.

I want monsters as the enemies, but I want these enemies to be tied into some sort of grand scheme, rather than just some unexplained but accepted fact.
I want everything to be explained for, and still make the player feel as though they know nothing.

No matter the plot twist, no matter the realization, they need to be God-fearing, but also hopeful and awe-inspired by this infinite.

I honestly have no idea where to start.
This is a question of “should”, but let’s actually define this word.

By should, I guess I mean specifically where grace guides me when taking on this project that I will end up caring about.
However, since I don’t care about it now, there is no guidance, so there is no ‘should’ just yet.

Well, the first step is then to obviously care about the project, far sooner than if it were to be a completed game first.

In order for me to care about a particular vision, I must yearn for the significance of it being in my life.

When I look back on my life, the source of significance IN THE FIRST PLACE, came from a a presence of sorts, not logical understanding.

This is, again, the otherworldly presence that this game is about.

In order to feel said otherworldly presence towards something with conscious intent, instead of stumbling across something fantastic, a miracle, by accident, I must…

This is so tough.

I managed to do it on the 21st of October, 2023 at around 3AM.
The otherworldly presence I felt was towards the potential of doing the impossible, so making games isn’t that exciting to me in comparison at the moment, for my attention is put towards that direction.
If my attention is ever drawn/click-baited towards the significance of game development again in the future, then of course I’ll do it, but for now, with the view of existence I have at the moment, I will be trying to do the impossible.

Ok, I’ve been click-baited back towards it, not because of it specifically, but because it can be potentially indirectly related toward my dream.
If I want to accomplish my dream, my first goal is to get rich since money is the most dominant form of power in this world.

I created a network of people who want to make money with me, and one of the ways to make enough money to fund the “next PayPal”, can be done by making a medium sided business early on, such as an indie game studio.
I have a programmer in this network, and he wants to do this with me.

I’ll keep updating on how this newly budding idea will most likely come into fruition, since now I don’t have a bias against game development, and instead direct that sort of distaste towards the college instead.

I created a plan on how I’m going to successfully create this Medium Sized Business (A business that requires more than one person to work on, within the time limit that I give myself though to ‘speed-run’.) even in the case where I don’t have a teammate, which I have to account for, and that’s by getting the funding that’s necessary in order to hire proper employees.

I’ll accomplish this financial feat by increasing my ability to focus, and running multiple SMALL businesses by myself.

These small businesses include the skills that I have already, and amount to the goals of:

  1. Creating a successful YouTube channel or two, (the second channel would be dedicated towards Dev vlogs, if I still have my team mate to help me, and in the case that I don’t, then I’ll solely work on my main channel until I get employees.).
  2. Making a manga, (this is what I will be making videos about on the main channel, among other things).

[Note: My main channel is going to have videos about me doing what I’m truly passionate about; Accomplishing the impossible.
Expect a body transformation video eventually, as well as a series of me trying to speed-run learning a second language, (my heart is set on Russian because of Phonk audio edits).]

My YouTube:

I graduated college today.
I have decided that I will only be practicing my C++ skills by documenting my progress as I work on my friend’s video game project instead, every now and then, since I need to focus most of my time on products that can actually reap benefits AS they are being made, rather than right at the end, such as Manga, YouTube, and freelance/side-hustle work.

Ultimately, I was ghosted, and I gave up entirely on that intention.