I play games to have fun, and let off steam. Highly competitive online games don’t work for me, because I don’t have a regular time I can play uninterrupted for a long time, and I don’t particularly want to invest my entire life in the progression of some particular clan/faction/clique of players.
Casual online games, and co-operative online games, work much better for me. For example: Helldivers! Great game, and me and some friends have a semi-regular weekly time we often play this game. When someone in particular can’t show up, that’s no big deal, and if I want to play some other time, pick-up games aren’t particularly bad.
Also, games need a solo mode where I can try things, practice and learn the game, and generally screw around, without affecting other online people.
Separately: Some people online are just ********, and I’ll drop if I find them. It would be ideal if they had to drop, rather than me, but my life is to short to tolerate mean people. (Unskilled people are fine; I’m probably below average myself.)