You can build an APK for quest without having the device plugged in.
You just package the project for android (Platforms → Android → Package Project). Make sure the project setting to store the game’s data in the APK is set to true (to prevent a separate OBB file). Once it’s done packaging you’ll have an APK file that you can distribute however you want to. No need to plug in a quest for that process. I can send a screen recording of how to do it if you like. It’s quite quick.
You can use a separate OBB file on Quest but the installation method is a little different than just dragging & dropping the APK - so that might be the issue you’re running into if you’re not packaging the game’s data in the APK itself.
Sorting out the SDK, NDK, JRE, & Android Studio on the other hand so that the app starts correctly (no endless 3 dots, no black screen hangs, etc)… That is a different pain. I’ve found that most of the time when I have woes on startup it’s either caused by something being wrong in the android setup, or something being wrong in the project settings.
The runtime errors that get thrown when one of those things go wrong are unfortunately very little help. The error handling is often super vague & unclear, and the docs aren’t much help either. They’re either not truly up-to-date or they don’t sufficiently explain all the tiny ways things can go wrong & their common fixes.