Well the word use of “instanced” seems to suffer from the idea that by default it implies a means of performance tuning when in fact as to what would be best practice can only be applied with in context for the purpose to be served.
For example and alt copy is a copy as presented in the view port but as an instanced copy, some what like in 3ds Max, as an instanced it could contain parameters that can be used to change the objects shape but since it’s a copy you save on memory foot print requirements.
Perhaps the best use of instancing is in the use of materials as the higher performance cost is base on the complexity of the applied material and not as much on the object who inherits the performance loss over and above what the mesh would introduce.
How you manage instanced material would make better sense as to decreasing at least memory requirements as you could LOD the material from complex to simple materials.
Yes it can be confusing as instancing is not something to be to concerned about at the beginning, except for the ability of the instance you have in 3ds Max, and best practice is to reach some level of completion and then “profile” your environment and the numbers will tell you what is actually happening as it’s being rendered to the camera.
Interaction of instanced materials and objects.