No man here has been passed over for a job because “he might have children soon.”
I have seen this happen to women. Behind the scenes, of course, and not at my current company, where we stamp the hell out of that kind of nonsense.
If you don’t perceive the systemic privilege that males (and especially white males) have in this industry, then your powers of perception haven’t matured yet to where you can conceive that it’s true.
I thought exactly like that, in the past. I know where you’re coming from! I was less clued into what actually goes on, and had less experience, and wished the best for everyone myself, so clearly there’s no real problem, right?
Also probably because I grew up in a much less male-privileged northern European country, and then moved to the US, where I perceive it’s much worse.
The above incident is one of several things I observed that made me realize that this is much more of a problem than we’d wish it were.
In the best of worlds, we hire. promote, and give credence to people entirely based on aptitude. We’re not there, as a whole, as an industry, or as a society.
To get there, a bunch of currently privileged people will have to become uncomfortable. This is how society changes. Change is not comfortable, and doesn’t happen when people close their eyes and cover their ears.
Note that I didn’t say “trust me.” I said “read the actual science on the topic” (which is fairly convincing,) and I also suggested “get more experience of what actually happens in real business.”
And, even if you are too much inside your box to take this to heart, hopefully someone who reads, but doesn’t necessarily posts, get curious enough to actually examine the problem, which would be a win overall.