As a user, honestly for what most people want out of another language, learn Skookumscript. It does exactly what you want and already exists; and doesn’t seem like its going anywhere anytime soon(will have future support).
People who want a tool like that, and aren’t willing to learn the syntax(it’s seriously not that bad; people just hate on anything that isn’t a direct Algol/C derivative), probably didn’t really want what they were asking for to begin with.