Plugin Apex CLoth 3dsmax the Mesh Disapear

Heyya its me again, of course it didnt went the way i wanted ^^
Im really trying to figure this apex stuff out, but im banging my head against the wall.
And you seem to be the only person that knows what this is all about.
So now im struggling with the collision of course.
It really just doesnt behave in any way I understand. I worked a lot with physics simulation but this apex stugg just seems broken (or me ;))
If I understood it right, then you cant make the cloth collide with the mesh itself in UE4, you have to collide it with the bones + collision distance (Which would basically be a real thick set of bones)
I think this is not a good way to do this, because the mesh does often not look like the Bone structure.
But anyways i tried it, with no success.

i added a kinematic rig to my cloth object, set the physical shape to bones and inflation to 1.
I then added the corresponding bones to the rig.
I played around with various values for inflation and collision distance and other variables.
But the cloth always pokes through the mesh or gets pushed to far out, sometimes it isnt even symmetrical.
The cloth get pushed to one side of the model. Its really odd.
Did you encounter something like this, ?