Seems like the only possible way through my experiments is to use the variable bOverrideBuildEnvironment in your project EditorTarget cs file.
bCompileChaos = true;
bUseChaos = true;
bOverrideBuildEnvironment = true;
I don’t understand this setting so much really as it basically skips the validation of modules that require a unique build when using a shared build of the engine but it does compile and start the engine at least. I really hope we hear something from some devs here