Well, my solution is a total Hack, I’m sure of it.
I never did explain why scaling from the ‘center’ creates an offset… but I just compensated for it… and It’s working. Like I said, it feels like a filthy solution, but it’s working.
I couldn’t find anyone who had successfully done it and posted how… so I’m hoping this thread will help those lost souls like myself, who don’t mind a bith of filth in their setup. 
I’m eager for a Black Belt to get on and explain how to do it correctly, and why I was having the anomalies I was. But until then… I’m good.
Here is my final Post Process Material:
