Hey guys,
I am working on a horror game called Emily, where a pizza delivery guy gets attacked by a ghostly girl and her gang of creepy dolls. I wanted to get Steam GreenLight started soon and was curious if anyone could give feedback on the trailer and also any advice to help with Steam Greenlight.
Thanks in advance!
Here’s the trailer for Emily:
[video]- YouTube
I decided to post my game to Steam GreenLight. If anyone wants to check it out, here it is: Steam Community :: Error
I changed the trailer some:
Here’s a few images from in game:
I am open to any questions or feedback.
Emily crawling in after a rough night
And in the end you get shot by police for burglary!
Nice stuff, but it is looking very clean to me.
Some grunge/dirt/dust.
What is she searching, the pizza?
^^
Just some initial thoughts:
I suggest you try watching the Doctor Who episode “Blink”, and possibly the episode “Night Terrors”. In Blink, the protagonists are hunted by “Weeping Angels”, creatures that can only move when they’re not observed, and freeze to stone when they are. It’s like a twisted variation on the old playground game “Grandmother’s Footsteps” and it can work really well when done properly. It also ties in nicely with the concept of the dolls wanting to play games:
In “Night Terrors”, the protagonists are sucked into a doll’s house where creepy-looking dolls stalk them:
Games like Slender and its clones use a similar principle, but there the aim is for the player NOT to look at the creature. By inverting this and forcing the player to always watch them, it adds that layer of paranoia, and the fear of what they DON’T see, rather than the more standard “Look, it’s a scary monster, BOO!” tactic. Have the player too afraid to turn their back, and as they carefully watch one of the dolls observing them from the corridor they’ll be wondering if there is another doll coming up behind them.
EDIT: One added bonus is that you won’t need to make everything so **** dark all the time, which would also be a nice change 
That said, your environments already look well-lit. I hate games that can’t conjure up a proper scare so they just make everything so dark you can’t see anything.
If you do this, you will scare the living hell out of almost everyone. Also, it’s not that difficult to do, pretty sure pawn sensing (Blueprint attachment onto a pawn class) could do that pretty easily.
Also, please support oculus rift. It’s the next level of horror, legitimately. With your environments being pretty empty (They still look great that way) it wouldn’t be that difficult to optimize for it. If you have any questions on optimization or anything else feel free to shoot me a message. Saw your game on IndieDB the other day, we were close to the same rank for awhile
Good luck!
This is really great, I love the environments you have created
The quality could be better 
Thanks for the feedback guys. I didn’t see this until today! I had posted 3 times in two weeks and didn’t get any responses, so after my third post I kind of gave up on this forum. Then I checked today, and saw the cool posts. Thanks.
Emily Wants To Play did get GreenLit and I have been working on it daily.
Thanks for the awesome feedback .
You are the third person that mentioned the “Weeping Angels”, I checked that out and those statues are creepy. I am not sure I want to watch “Night Terrors”! but I will
I like the idea of creepy toys messing with the player’s head
Thanks, I have always had a fear of dolls, so it seemed like a good idea to me.
I think the whole appearing and then vanishing when the lights flicker is really overdone
Yeah it is cliche. I am trying to pull it off subtle and clean. I only use it once, right in the beginning. I have been trying out different ideas, but since the door closes, I wanted to show something causing it and put the player on edge a little.
I also think the creepy girl thing risks your project being lumped in with the millions of others
Yeah, I definitely do not want to get lumped in with any bad expectations. I am trying to overcome that.
I believe more subtlety would work in this situation
I definitely agree. I believe subtlety, and letting the imagination fill in some blanks makes things more scary.
I have been trying many different ideas with the AI of the “monsters” of the game. My initial idea was very similar to the weeping angels, but whether you looked at the doll or not, it would get closer. After testing it, I made changes, because it ended up not being as scary as I thought.
I am still tweaking how each doll and Emily works, but I do have them all running my initial ideas. You definitely have to look at two of them and it would be in your best interest to look for the other two as well (when you hear them in the room). Three of them just appear in the room with you, and pretty close, invading your personal space. As for Emily, you have to hunt her down within a time limit, while dealing with the others. If you don’t find Emily within the allotted time, she hunts you down
The upper part of the house is lit well, I am having some problems since every light is dynamic. But I can work through it. There is a basement area, that is dark and grungy for the people that like that type of thing. But you won’t want to hang out in the basement for very long.
side Note I really do not like looking at those freaky dolls in the “Night Terrors” image you posted!
@Luftbauch
The dolls have been tearing up the place. But the house has only been abandoned for about a month. The previous owners left “suddenly”.
@TSpartanT
I have it working similarly.
I really want to get it on VR. I definitely need to look into it.
What game are you working on?
@KingMatty
Thanks!
@CLBander
I agree
The screens I post are usually only preview lighting, but I have been having trouble with the quality even with production lighting.
When I have the gameplay worked out, I will try to polish it and make it look better.
I love your house graphics and details! Good job!
I see you’re using modular home, looks good! Good job
You’re welcome I like the concept of this game so always happy to provide feedback and help make it really awesome if I can.
There was also a Sherlock Holmes game released a few years ago which did something similar but by accident. They wanted Watson to follow the player (Sherlock) around while he was investigating stuff, but either didn’t have the time or the desire to implement proper follow behaviour and navigation, so they just had him teleport close to the player when he was off-screen if he got too far away, but otherwise he stayed rooted to the spot. It lead to the “creepy Watson” (search it on youtube) meme and may have been part of the inspiration behind the Slender games. If something like that can prove creepy even by accident, there must be something to it 
I included the Night Terrors image because those dolls creep me out too The problem with them though is that in the episode they’re fairly clumsy and slow when moving, something which can be hidden in a film or TV show using cutting and editing, but in a game they’d look a bit undignified. Of course, that can be fixed too with some clever design decisions. The scary thing about them is that they’re unrelenting, they’re constantly moving in on your location and eventually break through any barricades you put up. They also turn people they touch into one of them, which leads to a nice scene of one of the characters transforming into a wooden peg doll. I think they used some classic stop-motion techniques in there to make it look even more unnatural and wrong.
Always good to use your own fears as a basis. If you’re afraid of something, chances are there are thousands of others with the same fear too! It also means you’re the perfect tester for your game to extract every ounce of fear from it.
This raises an interesting point to me. I found Amnesia creepy like everyone else, but everyone talks about the “water horror” as being a particular highlight. I think the reason is because when the player sees a monster moving around, they kind of tap into their instincts honed by games they’ve played before, and not just horror games. There’s a monster, I have to sneak around it, so first I observe its pattern of behaviour, observe its line of sight and then plot a route to ensure I am not spotted. I think some of the fear is lost because I’m not really focused on the situation or atmosphere now, I’m estimating movement speed and line of sight to see if I can get behind that sofa before it passes by. The water horror however was based on something you couldn’t see, so those rules didn’t apply. You were terrified of being chased and hearing something behind you that you couldn’t see and couldn’t outwit.
I also like the idea of each doll having different patterns of behaviour and different consequences for failing to deal with them appropriately. It adds an extra layer of complexity because you need to consider which doll is currently pursuing you, and when more than one of them combines it challenges the player to think fast and think ahead. For example if you have one doll that moves only when not observed, but another that moves all the time, you then have to run away but while trying to keep the first doll in sight at all times.
The time limit until Emily comes after you is also a good way to ramp up the tension and dread of a future horror to come!
Also, there’s nothing wrong with darkness when it’s used sparingly. Suddenly taking the player’s vision away from them can be a terrifying prospect, but not if it’s constant as the player either gets annoyed/frustrated, or numbed to it from familiarity. I will be dreading heading into the dark basement when the well-lit upper floors are scary enough
I’m looking forward to seeing more of this! I’ll post any further ideas I have if/when I think of them.
Emily Wants To Play WIP
Thanks again.
I just watched “Creepy Watson” and it is actually hilarious. I can’t believe they kept it like that. So funny. And you are right there is something to it!
I watched the full Blink and Night Terrors episodes last night. Both were great and gave me plenty ideas. In Blink, I love that the weeping angels were “quantum locked”. In Night Terrors, the doll costumes were great and creepy then they added the giggling and sneaking around!
In both episodes, you can see the characters and the monsters in relation to them. So as a viewer, you think, “Ack turn around! Get away from there!”. In a first person game, it is a challenge to accomplish the same effect and feeling, since the viewer also controls the main character. Right now, you can walk around, see a doll sitting on the floor, come back later, and it is gone, which is scary. The problem is making sure the player checks back to see that the doll is gone. I really want them to see it!
In my game specifically, you have complete freedom. You are never stuck in a room, waiting to solve a puzzle or see a creepy event until the door opens back up. The player has complete freedom to move anywhere right at the start of the game. I need to try as hard as I can to get the player to see the creepy events I have scripted. But if they want, they can sit in one room all night. The dolls will come to them whether they are moving around or not though.
Yeah this is good advice for people making anything scary. Try to make something that scares you and don’t stop tweaking it, until it does!
In Emily Wants To Play, once the dolls begin “playing”, you will never see them, until they are in the room with you. You can’t peek into a room and see them walking around. They are just suddenly in front of you, behind you or in the room somewhere. Then depending on the doll, it either gets closer, runs at you or stands there. It is best to try and keep the lights on, especially if its going to chase you, because you need to know which direction to run!
Exactly! Turning out the lights is terrifying!
So far, the basement actually always stays lit, but the lights are dim and flickering (cliche horror :)). The basement isn’t a safe place, because it is the largest room and only has one exit. If something decides to join you in the basement, you may not be able to get away in time. But for the brave, there are more unfolding story elements in the basement. Also, towards the end of the game, Emily will choose to hide in there sometimes and at that point you are forced to go in there.
Thanks, sounds good. I need to get some gameplay vids up, but I am torn between that and keeping it mysterious.
Yes, exactly. I changed up the colors and tried to make it as unique as possible. I have purchased and combined a few packs.
I really wish I could find a good grandfather clock! How cliche is that? lol
I actually wouldn’t worry too much if they miss the occasional thing. Part of building up a good atmosphere and tension is having a healthy dose of paranoia, and the best way to build paranoia is to avoid signalling threats too much so the player isn’t absolutely sure if something is wrong. Having a music sting, for example, when the player “sees” that the doll has gone just confirms that something is definitely wrong, and in a weird way can be reassuring. The player will definitely realise something is wrong when the dolls actually start closing in, and it will be all the more surprising if they weren’t observant enough and missed the warning signs earlier. You could even make it part of the challenge, punishing players who get too comfortable and switch to auto-pilot mode. I think this is a balance that playtesting will help with, but I’d suggest to start with you keep it subtle and avoid trying to draw too much attention to the creepy goings on.
Referencing Amnesia again, the music that played whenever an enemy was nearby did help raise the tension when you were in danger, but it also occasionally had the effect of removing any doubts I might have had about my situation, as it basically screamed “THERE’S A MONSTER HERE!” and sped up that transition from looking over my shoulder to figuring out how to get past it. Certainly, there were times when the music kicked in and I couldn’t immediately see the enemy which had a panic-inducing effect, but imagine if I had been happily going on my way and turned round to suddenly see one of them approaching from behind without warning. I’d be begging for eyes in the back of my head after that!
If you don’t want to reveal too much to the general public, I’d be happy to take a look at some footage in private and offer suggestions (assuming you’re comfortable with that idea)
Was working on the “weeping angel” effect … But now I cant stop watching Dr Who episodes!
I might take you up on previewing the game
.
Some other good ones to watch are The Impossible Astronaut (featuring The Silence, will definitely remind you of Slender), The Waters Of Mars (more conventional horror) and Silence in the Library (watch the shadows!).
Edit: oh, and Midnight is good too
Where are you based by the way?
Emily Wants To Play - Weeping Angel Effect Test
Here is my attempt at the “Weeping Angel” effect. I was having some trouble recording the gameplay, kinda laggy (too much open I guess), but I wanted to post it before I quit for the night.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=eoHuUZyXAmM
I will check out those other Dr. Who episodes and I am about 500 miles from New Zealand on the Chatham Islands, close to Waitangi
